Wednesday, January 28, 2015

I'm Actually Going!!

Well, my MTC date is coming week before I go!  I'm nervous, but I survived the scared stiff stage.  A couple weeks ago I was really struggling and having a hard time...I was stressed and nervous and honestly just plain terrified.  I was so anxious and stressed about everything I kind of had a mental shutdown, and didn't have the motivation to get any of the things done that I needed to.  So, after I told to my mom how scared I was, she looked me in the eye and said "Then don't go!"

Harsh, right?  Well, it was actually very wise of her, and exactly what I needed to hear.  It reminded me that I made the decision to serve, and that I am agreeing to this.  I haven't been forced into it, and I am perfectly capable of turning down the call and saying that I don't want to go anymore.  But you want to know the main reason I didn't agree with her?  I'm just too darn stubborn.  As soon as she said that to me I got irritated (like, really irritated) and told myself that I had committed to this and nothing was going to make me back down.  So, here I am finalizing shopping and packing and all that last minute stressful stuff.

I've been through the temple a couple of times (which was awesome), had my farewell (which was terrifying--I despise public speaking), and said goodbye to a couple of people I won't get to see again before I leave (which was really sad, but at least they'll be here when I get back).  I have most of my sister missionary outfits bought (and they're adorable), a really heavy-duty scripture bag (emphasis on the heavy), and enough mosquito repellent to (hopefully) protect me from all the crazy bug diseases in the Philippines.  I told my best-friend-basically-sister that she and her husband are not allowed to start their family until I get back (and I mean it, Bekah and Tyler!!).

I took a great mission prep class at BYU last semester, I have a strong testimony of the Book of Mormon and its power to bring joy and comfort.  I love my Savior, and that I have the opportunity to learn and teach His gospel.  I am excited to share the joy it has brought to me with the Filipinos.  And I can tell you right now, I really don't know squat about them.  But I have already started to feel a love for the people that I will get to meet, and I am so genuinely excited!!

Every time I talk about my mission, I get crazy butterflies in my stomach.  It's kind of like the kind you get when your crush looks at you, but like 10x better :)  I am so grateful that I have this opportunity to serve, and that I get to experience something that is so different from what I'm used to.  Between the culture, the weather, the giant city, and the jungle, I will definitely be learning a lot.  And I just can't wait :)

Sister Payton Pectol

P.S.  And Mom, I'm really actually going ;)

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