final 12 weeks! picture pose then the real feelings.....
This week has been a really intense week. I have learned a lot about humility, from myself and also from others.
I've really been struggling lately with a lot of feelings of inadequacy, both in missionary work and in personal things and especially in my calling as an STL. It's hard when all of your weaknesses seem to just magnify themselves in front of you and seem impossible to overcome. We had service as a zone on Saturday, and is was so fun to participate in the national service day to clean up campaign posters and all that, but I was having a hard time. After the service, we ended up calling our district leader over so that he could give both me and Sister Udarbe a priesthood blessing. And let me tell you, the power of the priesthood is real. We didn't tell him anything that we were struggling with or that we wanted guidance on; we just said that we would like a blessing of comfort. And in each of our blessings, he addressed the things that we were specifically struggling with and needed counsel on. We took notes for each other, and this morning I reviewed the notes my companion had written down and just felt so grateful that Heavenly Father loves us enough to give to worthy men the power of the priesthood in order to help those around them. It also reminded me to be more humble and remember that it's not my strength or lack of that is important; what's important is that I just remember where my real strength is and rely on my Savior and on my Heavenly Father.
One of the other things that had a big impact on me taught me a powerful lesson about humility. One of the companionships in our route has really been struggling; one of the companions is really disobedient and prideful and drags her companion down. We had the opportunity to do exchanges with them on Thursday, and it was so heartbreaking to see how much pride is ruining things for them. One of the sisters is new in the area and is trying so hard to learn the area and the investigators and the members, but her companion just gets annoyed when she asks questions. We've seen a lot of pride issues in that companion, and so when we did exchanges we each took some time to talk with each of the sisters one on one. And I can really testify that nobody can change you but yourself, and not even Heavenly Father will force you to change yourself. One of the sisters does not see herself as making mistakes or having weaknesses, and when her companion tried to explain what was going on she just got angry. It was so sad. There hasn't been much that's changed in that companionship--the prideful one is still so prideful, and the other one is just exemplifying the Christlike attribute of humility as she tries to keep things going smooth. We're praying (literally) that something will change and that the Spirit will be able to work in their companionship.
So I guess the biggest takeaway that I got this week is just to remember that nobody is perfect (especially myself) but that if we are humble and we let ourselves be changed, we really can change for the better.
Mosiah 3:19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.--Charles A. Beard
Love you all!! Have a good week and remember that humility can help solve any problem :)
My little Utah buddy...