There haven't been that many things that have happened since Wednesday, but it's starting to sink in how close I am to having to leave. I'm not sure yet how to feel about that. It actually is not on my mind that often; I still sometimes feel like I have a long time left so I just think about the work. Which is good, but I realized yesterday that I actually need to start thinking about packing so I can get everything ready...yikes haha.
I've really had the opportunity this week to realize how grateful that I am for my mission. One of the sisters in our route is only in her 2nd transfer in the field and is really struggling with wanting to go home. There's been exchanges and multiple visits and interviews with mission leaders, but it doesn't seem to help. It's so hard to see that. We're still praying that she'll decide to stay.
But as we've tried to help this sister, it's reminded me of when I was new and experienced the same feelings of homesickness and wanting to call it quits. I remember that one day it got so bad that my companion and I went home early and I just sat in the room and cried. I remember that I knelt down and told Heavenly Father that I didn't feel like I could do it anymore. But, I had promised Him my 18 months when I put in the application form. At that moment I told Him that I would give Him my 18 months, but I needed His help. That was a mission changing moment for me.
Missionary work is not easy; there are many ups and downs and challenges and triumphs and all of that crazy stuff. But throughout it all, Heavenly Father is there giving us the strength and the guidance that we
need in order to fulfill our purpose. And I've learned that He really can use us imperfect people in order to move His work forward
Mosiah 9:17 Yea, in the strength of the Lord did we go forth to battle against the Lamanites; for I and my people did cry mightily to the Lord that he would deliver us out of the hands of our enemies, for we were awakened to a remembrance of the deliverance of our fathers.
And just in case you need a pep talk:
Do it! Move it! Make it happen! No one ever sat their way to success!